Marawi City, Lanao del Sur, Philippines

Life Lately: Ramadhan Struggles and Delights

It's a quarter before eight in the morning, I just woke up and the first thing I want to do is do the thing that I haven't done in the past few weeks--write a blog post. I wasn't very much visible on the internet lately because so many things IRL-related has come up.

Although I initially intended to write my sentiments concerning President-elect Rodrigo Duterte's lashing at the media, right now I am ambivalent thus I am writing something way off the original plan. My second thoughts are preventing me to form a single coherent opinion on Digong.

I don't want to keep my blog stagnant much less abandon it completely so I am writing an update of how my life has been going lately. Forgive me, but I will have to apologize for I will probably leave out details. Ever since the millennials have been joined by their parents and CCTV-like aunts, I have learned the value of scarcity and curating online.

So here are what's in my life lately:

1. My new Canon 50mm prime lens has been a major source of thrill for me. My old kit lens just won't do anymore. As per recommendation of photography websites, the 50mm should be the first lens a Canon DSLR owner should have. It has stunning quality for a cheap price. I got mine from Lazada, kink at the sidebar. I found that Lazada has the lowest price among online sellers, plus they offer free shipping.

2. I have been apartment-hunting and luckily found one that I liked and at the same time vacant. In real estate, it's all about location and this one sits perfectly accessible to all places I want to be near to. Yes, I am actually transfering to another city.

3. Now that I have already leased the apartment, I am busy with filling it with home essentials and stuffs that will make it feel like home. I am beginning to realize that this migration is not an easy feat. There are so many thing to buy, and with a limited budget, ability to compromise is a necessary skill. For example: Ayee, don't think about getting internet just yet until you have bought a ref. Oh well, this is adult life.

4. The first week have broken me and have stripped me down to core. There are times when the spiritual aspect of our lives suffer and when something as glorious as Ramadhan stares at you in the face, you feel the shame of your inadequacy.

5. A boy-girl problem has come up. After going through a major betrayal, the fear to go through another one is a monster under my bed. It is a Shutter-like ghost that sometimes lodges itself on my shoulders. And because it is Ramadhan, I have been reevaluating my priorities and where does this one sit on the heirarchy of my priorities. Does the other person tangoing to the music as dedicatedly as I do? That kind of question has been nagging me as persistently as a recurring nightmare. But I have found my solace:

"You [Allah, alone] we worship, and You [alone] we ask for help." (Qur'an 1:5)

"Say: Sufficient for me is Allah; in him those [believers] who trust must put their trust." Qur'an 39:38

One's happiness should never be anchored on a mere creature. Creatures disappoint. But Allah swt does not. And every day I shall pray for all the good in this life and in the hereafter. Surely He will answer.