[[ THE UNBELIEVER AMONG THEM ]]

I was in high school then when my mouth dared to utter the words "Does God really exist?" Bewildered, my friends and classmates reacted violently behind my back. It was a rumor that spread like wildfire. Years later, when I meet someone who knew me back then, they always question whether that "rumor" is true.

I dare to speak up now. Yes, indeed.

In a small town where what others think about you matter, I suffered from that "slip of tongue." It turns out, I was the only one who dared ask the big question of existence. They said "sayang, matalino pero walang paniniwala."

To you who judged me that way, this one is for you!

Have you ever thought that perhaps you were born in a community whose beliefs are wrong? If believing blindly to whatever you were taught is right, then what if you were born in a cult for instance? Don't you think that attitude of belief without understanding is dangerous to some degree? They say faith is belief without reason, but come on, a little understanding is not bad at all.

I am no way ashamed of this period in my life when I believed in nothing. I was hungry for answers and I did research and read a lot of religious literature. Years later, I finally believed. This time, I have reasons to believe. This time, I am confident in what I believe in. Because I know that I am not that dimwit who believed unquestioningly when she was told that the world is flat.

I have mental faculties and it is but natural for me to question the logic of things. I needed answers because if I forced to myself to believe, I will only cheat myself. Whatever semblance of faith I can muster, I know that it is shallow and the foundations are weak.

Last thing, whatever you believe in, just keep it to yourself and do not force it down my throat. I will only vomit. I have my belief, you have yours, so do not cross the line. Pocket your hypocrisy.Better yet, eat it.